So in my world of dropping my baggage, lately I have been tacking on new pieces while dropping off pounds! NOT GOOD!!! I am not only suppose to be letting go of my weight but also of emotional baggage!!
I had a weigh in today, first in three weeks, too much going on last week to go! And I found out I had lost 2lbs! Thats really great but I had wished for losing 4lbs so I could be under the 200 mark. I mean I am almost there, right at 201!!! I have lost a total of 44.5 lbs since August! Thats a great accomplishment for my health!!
Lately I have been losing my focus! I don't know why, sometimes I allow my emotions to determine what I eat, which is very bad when you eat to comfort yourself!!! Sometimes I allow others decisions to eat unhealthy encourage me to eat things I know I shouldn't!
I have worked out twice this week which is more than last week!! Now if I can just get myself up to three times a week!! I know that it would make such a difference!
While at the gym Tuesday night, it was on MTV's show "I Use To Be Fat" or some such nonsense. But the girl on there had a personal trainer, and I thought to myself, oh how lucky she is to have someone push her and help her to know what she needs to do for exercise. I wish I could find some personal trainer to take pity on my financial situation, and would help me workout!!!But alas I will stick with my workout dvds and the gym!
Right now I am at war with my body, it is trying to get sick.I know I have pushed it this week, with working both jobs and so little sleep. But I plan to rest up over the weekend, and next week I will only work one day at the bank. SO maybe that will help some more! We shall see....well thats whats been going on and through my mind. Hopefully in two weeks I will be at 199!!!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Not so good...
Well, Ladies and Gents, its time to kick myself into gear.
I did so great last week with my exercising.
This week however has been rough. I have been busy at work and also working my 2nd job so its not left me with allot of energy or time to work out. My goal I set last week w/ my doctor was to lose 3 lbs. and here it is Wednesday and I am sure I haven't lost anything.
I am getting to another hump, where I struggle with not getting frustrated. Because I know I want to lose 30 more lbs. my mind is becoming overwhelmed with the work and dedication it will take to lose it. I have to not allow myself to get stuck into my destructive mindsets of saying, "why cant it be easier for me" "why cant i just be skinny without working at it like other girls i know!"
I have to remind myself constantly, that while those girls may be skinny and not working at it now, it could very easily catch up with them as they get older. And I have to ask myself, even if they are skinny are they healthy?? And allot of times the answer is no, they may be thin, but are they giving their bodies the nutrients and vitamins it needs? are they giving it the exercise it needs?
So instead of focusing on others, i have to take myself full circle and get myself focused back on what I need to do for me!!!
So I am going to take it day by day. Meal by Meal!!
My goal for today, cuz it is 1:46 am, is that I am going to hit the sack, get some sleep and work out when i wake up!! No Matter what!!!
I did so great last week with my exercising.
This week however has been rough. I have been busy at work and also working my 2nd job so its not left me with allot of energy or time to work out. My goal I set last week w/ my doctor was to lose 3 lbs. and here it is Wednesday and I am sure I haven't lost anything.
I am getting to another hump, where I struggle with not getting frustrated. Because I know I want to lose 30 more lbs. my mind is becoming overwhelmed with the work and dedication it will take to lose it. I have to not allow myself to get stuck into my destructive mindsets of saying, "why cant it be easier for me" "why cant i just be skinny without working at it like other girls i know!"
I have to remind myself constantly, that while those girls may be skinny and not working at it now, it could very easily catch up with them as they get older. And I have to ask myself, even if they are skinny are they healthy?? And allot of times the answer is no, they may be thin, but are they giving their bodies the nutrients and vitamins it needs? are they giving it the exercise it needs?
So instead of focusing on others, i have to take myself full circle and get myself focused back on what I need to do for me!!!
So I am going to take it day by day. Meal by Meal!!
My goal for today, cuz it is 1:46 am, is that I am going to hit the sack, get some sleep and work out when i wake up!! No Matter what!!!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
ITS 2011!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
OK so we are already a week into the New Year and I am just now blogging!! At least I am only a few days in between posts!!
I had an awesome holiday and have gotten down to business with my New Year's resolutions!! I have worked out 3 days this week so far and have been sticking pretty close to my diet. I did break down and have some chocolate this week but I figure one time in one week isn't going to kill me!!
My weigh in was today and I went there expecting the worse!! Right before Christmas I had gained .5, which in 5 months is the first time I hadn't lost or maintained at a weigh in. But my Doctor wasn't worried and said I could try and focus on losing it over the 2 weeks or just not worry and we would start a new. So, even with all my traveling and the wonderful Holiday meals, I lost the .5!!! I was so excited to see 203 on that scale!!!
Losing this weight has been easy in some regards and a struggle in others. When I first started this program I had to deal with the critics about me "not eating a meal" and just having a protein shake. I had to calmly educate people about my program. And at one point, I think I did slip up and ask one critic if they had been to medical school and just never told me that they were licensed to give medical advice on how to lose weight.
I have had to deal with the "stalling" weeks, where I didn't lose a single pound. I had to learn to appreciate that I could maintain my weight and not gain something. I love my doctor. She is such an encouragement and I think its awesome that she is from my hometown (which I didn't know until after our 2nd meeting).
This journey of "dropping my baggage" which is about me losing my weight mainly but also the emotional baggage of being overweight. I have realized that what I see in the mirror isn't what others see at all. Now lately I have been looking at pictures of me over the last year, and I realize that I had really gotten out of control. When I look back I think back over what was going on in my life, why was I choosing food as my comfort. I still do that, and I know this will be a struggle for the rest of my life. But I have strength knowing that God will walk me through this and He can and will help me overcome this obstacle as long as I allow Him too.
Anyways this has turned into one long blog. Gotta go! More to come, Hopefully I will have some time to upload pics of how I have been changing!!
Love you all!!!
OK so we are already a week into the New Year and I am just now blogging!! At least I am only a few days in between posts!!
I had an awesome holiday and have gotten down to business with my New Year's resolutions!! I have worked out 3 days this week so far and have been sticking pretty close to my diet. I did break down and have some chocolate this week but I figure one time in one week isn't going to kill me!!
My weigh in was today and I went there expecting the worse!! Right before Christmas I had gained .5, which in 5 months is the first time I hadn't lost or maintained at a weigh in. But my Doctor wasn't worried and said I could try and focus on losing it over the 2 weeks or just not worry and we would start a new. So, even with all my traveling and the wonderful Holiday meals, I lost the .5!!! I was so excited to see 203 on that scale!!!
Losing this weight has been easy in some regards and a struggle in others. When I first started this program I had to deal with the critics about me "not eating a meal" and just having a protein shake. I had to calmly educate people about my program. And at one point, I think I did slip up and ask one critic if they had been to medical school and just never told me that they were licensed to give medical advice on how to lose weight.
I have had to deal with the "stalling" weeks, where I didn't lose a single pound. I had to learn to appreciate that I could maintain my weight and not gain something. I love my doctor. She is such an encouragement and I think its awesome that she is from my hometown (which I didn't know until after our 2nd meeting).
This journey of "dropping my baggage" which is about me losing my weight mainly but also the emotional baggage of being overweight. I have realized that what I see in the mirror isn't what others see at all. Now lately I have been looking at pictures of me over the last year, and I realize that I had really gotten out of control. When I look back I think back over what was going on in my life, why was I choosing food as my comfort. I still do that, and I know this will be a struggle for the rest of my life. But I have strength knowing that God will walk me through this and He can and will help me overcome this obstacle as long as I allow Him too.
Anyways this has turned into one long blog. Gotta go! More to come, Hopefully I will have some time to upload pics of how I have been changing!!
Love you all!!!
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